FUC-K-OFFEE

Tastes like: If caffeine and contempt had a baby...

This is not a good morning blend.  This is a don't talk to me or I'll call HR on myself blend.  Crafted for the mentally stable (on paper) and emotionally caffeinated.  Crafted with zero patience and 100% roasted realness, Fuckoffee is your mood in a mug. Dark, bold, and bitter (just like your humor), this roast will kickstart your day and your intolerance for idiocy. Stir generously with sarcasm and sip like you mean it.

💋 REAL Ones Only:

• Has a to-do list and a hist list
• Clocked in with zero chill and give grudges 
• The only one in the group chat with taste
• Would rather have coffee than closure

🔥  Roast Specs:

• Roast: Dark - bold 
• Origin:Colombia + Brazil
  Flavor Notes: Cocoa, Molasses and bad decisions
• Altitude: 1200-1500M
• Varietal: Castillo Catuai
• Process: Natural and washed 
  

  ADD TO CART because your morning deserves more than silence.  It deserves vengeance with cream.