ASSIMILATION

Tastes like: Blend in?  Bitch, I glitch....

If conformity had a flavor, it'd be bland AF. But Assimilation? Oh, she's bold, loud, cinnamon-sassy rebellion in a mug. Made for those who were *always* the too-much, too-loud, too-real types. Sip on this and remember-fitting in is optional. Calling out the flock? Required.

This is the roast for every misfit who saw the crowd and turned the other way.  It's not rebellion for show - it's rebellion as a biological rejection of fake Sh*t. Drink this when you need to remember your edges in a world full of smooth talkers. 

💋 Real Ones Only:

• Got kicked out of the group chat and slept better
• Glitched out of mediocrity mid-meeting
• Always the one asking "but why though?"
• Can feel the lie in their chest before it hits their ears

🔥  Roast Specs:

• Roast: Medium - cinnabun chaos
• Origin: Nicaragua
  Flavor Notes: Cinnamon, sugar, vanilla
• Altitude: 1250M
• Varietal: Bourbon, Caturra
• Process: Washed and sun-dried
• Soil: Volcanic-sandy
  

  ADD TO CART - because a flock of people is called "assholes" and you're not one of them.